Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
