she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
