So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
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