Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
