just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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