matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
