He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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