i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
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So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
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She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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