it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
