u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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