I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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