everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
