you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
