glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
