i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize