I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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