And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
