I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
