i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
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