I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
