i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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