i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
