Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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