She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
