Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
