Porn is love you can see.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
jump out the window naked night went bad
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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