oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
