So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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