I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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