Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
