a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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