I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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