So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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