Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize