Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
