dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
