Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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