READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
