Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
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