I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize