his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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