So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My pussy is not your playground.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
