Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
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Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
It's rum buckets o'clock
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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