Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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