Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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