I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
