i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
