In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Semen is not good for contacts.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
