After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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