she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
