You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
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I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You've changed since you got that strap on
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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