god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
