If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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