my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
