So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
