I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
