he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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